musings #1

You know everything and everyone look hazy these days.
There are countless ‘I will call you back’ that you never actualized. 
So many failed attempts at resurrecting the once text messages that made you laugh. 
You have failed at friendship too.
Even LANA and SIA sounds like broken record to you.
In the midst of whril-life, you are free falling. 
You sometimes wonder how the people that talk about light and finding home within did.
You are not entirely sure if you’ve reached your breaking point, but you remeber the relapses you always have, the zoning out and forgetting important discussions or date.
Silently you are edging the alarm bell in your head to go off so you can atleast get a sense of direction, but it doesn’t come. 
Then suddenly it dawns on you that maybe this is rock bottom. Your final bustop of falling.
What next? Rise! They thundered. 
No, sit down there, sleep,  cry , whatever. break into pieces, reform. Try to understand when and how we got to this darkness.
Then slowly,  at your pace, rise.
Omam, I’m talking to you. I pray you heed.


Thirst and fast #2

Misery descends and I’m still fasting. But I don’t want to. I quickly send back a text ‘i’m coming’ 

The message didn’t deliver, the devil loves to play games and I’m happy to be a pawn.

I grab my coats, one for my body, the other for…., well, tonight must be the night, it has to be the night.
Into the rain I go,  each drop reminding me of the sheer ecstasy of her touches, the hotness of her lips on mine and the brutal coldness of her closed thighs.
I edge forward, calculating the best series of move to make, ‘I want you dear, let’s embrace each other in the most intimate way possible’ 
No, that definitely won’t work.
Maybe I should just try kissing her, then my hands can travel every inch of her body, my lips on her shoulder, the lobes of her ears, whispering, kissing, underneath the curves of her breasts, cusping till I can feel her heart throb on the lines of my Palm. That should do. 
I get to her, I am drenched, soaked with water and immersed in a state of uncontrollable horniness. I shift my legs to hide the bulginess below, then I knock.
Once, twice, if I had listened I might have heard the sound of her moans. 
She opens the door, I’m greeted with a hungry eyes, eyes hot like the embers of a moonlight fire.
We didn’t say a word, we didn’t have to, we just knew.
Tonight is the night, it has to be and I’m not fasting.
Written by Riptide. 

This entry was posted on April 9, 2017, in Prose.

Heads up :o

I wrote a prose that I didn’t intend to continue. But then there were amazing people that did justice to the short scribble.

To me, they did try, I applaud them and encourage others out there to try out their pen too.

In due course of time I’m going to post each stories with the name of the volunteers. 

Stay tuned. 

Love, Hadassah. 

Thirst and Fast.

He comes around to remind me that I am  nothing but flesh.

A human temptation, palatable in every sense, but  I am not hungry. I am  thirsty and the sticky milk liquid isn’t  going to quench it.
“You are not having sex with me”, I repeatedly say , but each time I say it, he makes a face that says”I am not a pervert, I don’t want you for sex.”
“As a matter of fact, I am fasting so I am not having sex . You can be butt naked in this room and I won’t touch you.”
His face lights up, he likes the Idea of being butt naked in the room with me. I notice his anxiety in  the way he keeps dragging his shirt.  
“It’s pretty obvious,” I tease him.
“I am addicted”,  he says in a whisper, “I can’t seem to stop but I want to stop”.  His eyes wore sincerity.
“Then stop.” I reply .  He notices that  I am not  in the mood for the smooth talk or heart to heart conversation, so he just stares.

“So how about tomorrow, we could spend sometime together after school and create our own memories. We’ll stay in until 9pm, then you can go back to your room since you are adamant about not sleeping over”. I think about it while stealing looks at him; he bites his lower lips. Sure I would love to kiss him,  I want to.

His friend interrupts and he steps out,  leaving me alone with my thoughts. 
Outside, the weather is  changing, there is   lightening and thunder claps. Within a short time, it begins to rain,  leaving me horny and cold.
I rummage  through my video collection to see if any will lead me out of my misery into the ecstasy of high heavens, the eroticas don’t do me any good, they never had. I wonder why I keep going back to them  but  it is better than nothing and I need  that euphoric feeling. 
‘It’s raining,’ I text him.
‘Hmmmm’, he replies.  I sigh in resignation.
I help myself to youtube. 
I let myself in. The index finger first,  slowly making small circles to heighten the  wired sensation. I let a  second finger in, then buckle my hips up to meet with the rhythm of my fingers. Satisfaction arrives slowly. Then the euphoria stops abruptly. Misery descends and I am still fasting.


We haven’t kissed, remember?

Scampering through the huge iron black gate and out into the busy street, the hot sun bit Apunanwu leaving some treacherous sun burn on her golden body which she would have waved her magic wand of umbrella and huffed about how the ozone layer is altering her perfectly tonned body.

Today was no normal day. hurring down the street and wiling desperately for taxi or keke to appear and save her from this obscure embarassment. Halting she stared at her reflection at the side mirror of the parked highlander.

Who else noticed the torn clothes, the sagged breasts, perhaps the visible nipples?- ‘I hadn’t the time to pick up my bra’ she thought wearily. Whoelse noticed that my half of my face is completely devoid of any make up? My bare foot nko? I could easily be written of as a mad woman. ‘Apart from those who had seen you earlier’ her subconscious added.

Finally a keke, keke! She called, waving her hands as she ran down the road to meet up.

Zik’s Avenue?
“Ahh, Madam the place far oh!” he replied,
Since when do these drivers have a say on where to alight their passengers? “I will pay anything,” I replied, hinting the desperation in my voice resignation was evident on his face. Oya enter. Na because of God oh.

“I want to kiss you,” he had said ealrier that day.

Say wetin happen? I resemble your girlfriend.. I had jovialy replied him and we laughed it off..

Digging up memories, living in the present and talking about future project we’d like to be a part of. Time weren’t on my side and I had other engagements today, Readying myself to go “Come and escort me out” I had asked chidi.

” I can’t, we haven’t kissed remember?” was his replied, holding my gaze.

Seriously? Ehe, He nodded. Alright no wahala I will gladly find my way out, already making plans on how to beef him later for this rough play. Walking towards the door- No actually I was at the door about to turn the handle, suddenly I was spinned around to jamm a body.

My head wobbled, Jesus! What was that for? Are you crazy ? I nearly fell….you moron! I yelled, extricating my self from him.

“I hate people who make me ask twice. we haven’t kissed, remember?” A voice devoid of any emotion, one different from the honey chirpy one engraved in my memory replied.

My heart rate peaked, my stomach churned and twisted nearly giving away my rare end for an emergency hot shit. It can’t be what I am thinking right? But..No! It just can’t.

Buhahahaha, I had laughed nervously hoping this absurd scene to be a joke. It just had to be, right?. “Honey you could have just worded you changed course to theater arts than acting it out” I mused.

Ruffling his hair, all smiles while strolling towards me, I relaxed, this had just been a very big j…- a fist connected to my chin throwing me off balance. I fell, hard.

Hot sensational pain pricked my eyes, this is not kpakpangolo-oyoyo nor is it swell-swell. The tables have turned and this time it turned on me, but when? How?.

As I struggled to get back up, I recoiled from his streched hand. Forcefully he dragged me up holding me chin and looking directly into my eyes, ‘baby, his voice softened, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hit you that hard It’s just that you were laughing and I felt stupid.’
“I had so much planned for us today,” he continued. “I wanted us to make love on the sofa, on the kitchen table, in my bedroom inside the shower.. Oh there was so much I wanted to show you and do to you.
I wanted to be christiana grey and you, Anastasia steele..”What are you talking about?” I cut him off, sensing my confusion, ‘you know as in Fifty shades of grey, I have equiped our inner room with lots of leather wears and all the other stuff. Come on, It’s gonna be fun.’ He concluded.

Unadulterated terrorr!

Please, don’t do this I half whispered,

Jaw clenched, “I don’t have much patience” he snapped. ‘Freely or forced, either way there is no getting out of it. So pick your choose.These walls are sound proof and not even the neighbours or the gateman will hear if you scream.This is G.R.A for a reason.’ Was his stoic cold reply

I blinked back the tears threatening to escape. we had been best of friends for 6 years now, so what went wrong? Where did I miss it? ‘this is not the time for that’, I chided my self. Consciously I accessed the sitting room for anything that can cause redemeable harm. None!

Dashing for the door again. His strides faster than mine I was hurled up, thud! landing on the cushion near the glass center table.

Zam! My clothe were ripped. Chidi, No please! the iron clampse of my braziers grazed my body tearing it as he dragged it out from the front. I wailed out in trpidation- fueled with anger I kicked, squirm and wriggled under him avoiding the close contact of his mouth on my bare chest! with only a hand he pinned me harder on the sofa.

“Oya wait let me get ready Na! Chidi please, you can’t do this to me…Ngwaa since we haven’t gone far let me go bikonu, I will forgive and forget…Just let me go please.” I cried out.

Yet he kept going, my plea fell on deaf ear. Chidi please I had tried one more time before his mouth claimed mine- jabing his fingers into my private as he tore my skin along with it.

In that instant I died, settling and letting him gain access to my depths.

What was the point of fighting again? ‘ the Idea of getting a third degree tear with the likes of leather strips, cuffs, blind fold and the rest..’ my subconsious reminded me.

I felt him Inside me, with each thrust the will to fight evaporated. Again! I was at his mercy. Few thrust more he tensed inside me maintaing the hard grip on me, his release was near. More strides from my part had him in oblivion.

On cue, I pushed hard with every onuce of strength he fell on the glass center table scattering and breaking as his body comes in contact until them both were on the bare marble floor.
“Madam!, wia your mind dey? We don reach abegi!”. The keke driver hollowed, jolting me back to life.

I stashed him with the two #1000 naira note in my purse and hurried down st. vincent street.

The door finally opened and with one look, my mother knew I didn’t visit kachinyere as I had told her.

My reslove crumbled, And I cried.

Love, Omam


Apology (public notice)

I know, I know…I have gone off again without any explannation therefore leaving you people hanging.

I’m Sorry, there is no excuse because whatever I have to say will still come off as an excuse.

From today I will uploading articles, poems, short stories and also different platforms will be created. By the end of August dreammydiaries will have a new face and hopefull our own domain. Yehhh!:D

I’m stil sorry though.


Love, Omam


Affair (#3)


As our keke drove down the lane of St. Maculay street the environment was serene and welcoming it felt so good to be back home. Just  as it was about to make a turn into the next street distant cries and screams were heard. further down the cries became more louder, canopies were in vicinity, small children were runing about, the abokis shops were closed. everywhere was locked down so I had to complete my journey on foot.. There are few people in red and black regalia chanting while circling a wooden object not visible to where I was standing, just as I was about to adjust myself to get a better view. My phone started ringing. I checked it was mother.


Are you still coming back today? dont come home again I dont want to loose you too?

Kini? Mama can be so dramatic ehh

Me too? what are you talking about?

She ended the call,I tried calking back but she wasn’t picking


After knocking like the umpteen time just as she was about to bang on the door one more time, the door opened and her mother came to view she droped the luggage and hugged her. I have missed you mama, kamara mumbled.

You are still fat? What will I do with you this girl, at this rate nobody will want to take you home.

Mama I bought bread.

Dont dare pretend you know nothing of what am talking about, Kamara!

Mother!! can I atleast come inside the house please? She asked exaperated while pushing her self inside the house.

Ehe there is a ceremony going on at our neighbouring street, everywhere is looked down.. I have to follow shortcut to enter our own street. mama what did you cook? I asked her as I made my way into the kitchen..luckily she made one of my best soup. After scooping a good amount with enough meat. I entered back into the sitting room.

You are still eating this girl, I heard her say as she re-entered into the sitting room. Give me that food trying to snatch the plate from me, I blocked her with my back so she ended up hitting me.

Ouchh mama, where did you hear that eating soup makes someone fat? and you havnt even answered my question.

Okaka, the one that built those twin house in maculay street, he is dead. then she lowered her voice….I heard he was trying to use his last child for sacrifice but it backfired. The fraternity to which he belonged to came few hours ago to bury him; she paused, thinking about it his wife is a church woman so why wont it backfire. One of her problem is solved. Speaking of which, she looked at me.

We need to go and see our pastor, you have problems.

Problems? Really mama.

Mama I am not going anywhere and there is nothing wrong with me. Is that why you asked me to come back?

Kamara, Ugochinyere is married, she is your agemate and her husband is living abroad. I feel so ashamed walking around this street.

start driving around na, I blurted.

I said it! you are not my daughter she said pacing around. None of my children is fat except you, the reason you went back to school again I can’t fathom. You are so stubborn I dont know who you resemble.

My father maybe, I said absentmindedly

Is there a market where they sell husband? I asked her out of sheer curiosity.

Are you trying to mock me, do you even a boyfriend ? She looked at me, a lover nko? Do you even have any boy at all? Even if it is just friend? She looked at me expectantly..

Where is ifenna mama, I havnt seen her around..

So you dont have any boys number? Nobody? Are you still a virgin?

Mama! I nearly choked on the last piece of meat I was eating..memories I have been trying so hard to supress started coming back.Dave.

‘ Can I kiss you?

….they made me stand for most of my exams it wasnt fair though because of something silly, I rambled on pretending I didnt hear what he said.

Kiss me kam, he repeated again. And then his arm snaked around me pullig me against him while the other arm cupped the back of my neck; our lips crashed, hungrily nibbling on my lower lip trying to gain access to my mouth. please let me in he whispered on my mouth. I positioned my self well to get a good angle; every restriction or guage remaining of me left. I surrendered giving him access to my depths. I was hungry for that affection. With our tongue we were fighting for dominance.

The world turned hazy and I only felt.

He moaned , We were both drowning and ….

Ifenna is engaged, mamas voice echoed which was what brought me back to reality!!

Isn’t that too early mama, Ifenna is just 20. Yehh! Congratulations, mama you can now walk around the street with your shoulder high..I covered up immediately before she starts another epistle.

Mama hissed and then continued, thats the reason why I asked you to come home, ifenna refused for any marriage rites to go on until you approve.

why do you people like putting me on the spot? Did I disapprove before? I dont even know she has a boyfriend talk more of a fiancee, She should go ahead. Meanwhile where is she?

Mama, what is it? She cut me off. There is this man, her face lit up I know how to get her attention. At the park today, according to him he is a sooth sayer and he see’s the future.. her face fell; curiousity had the better part of me so I went to know whether he will see anything about my future.

Ehe? she said enthuasiastically.

As he held my hands these were his exact words,

“Kamarachukwuzuoranyi you are a bright girl with a very big destiny..I can see a very huge cloud hovering over your head like it it about to rain..oh it will surely rain heavily but be patient  for you will shine after rain”

I removed my hands ohh before…mama are you even listening to me?

So he did not see any husband in your future?

AN: Im going to start with apologizing for not being able to update throughout last week. Im really sorry. How have you guys been?  I know, the story is taking another turn, different characters will be introduced. Just dont give up on the story. And do well to comment  let me know what you are thinking.

For those of us who missed the first and second series heres is the link Affair 1 and Affair 2

New characters:
Ifenna: kamaras younger sister and the lastborn.
Chetanna: Kamaras younger brother.

Kisses, plenty hugs and peak💋💋💋

Love, Omam.